Be a little more descriptive, and draw out the story a little more. Some things to improve:
I would recommend proof-reading/spell-checking before submitting your work. XNXX Sex Some things to improve:
I would recommend proof-reading/spell-checking before submitting your work. If not, then either do some research and read other people’s work, get laid, or find a new hobby. However, this one sadly made my stomach churn DUE TO THE FACT THAT THIS ONE WAS POORLY WRITTEN. Some things to improve:
I would recommend proof-reading/spell-checking before submitting your work. If this is your very first piece of ero-literature, then you are off to a okay start. If not, then either do some research and read other people’s work, get laid, or find a new hobby. However, this one sadly made my stomach churn DUE TO THE FACT THAT THIS ONE WAS POORLY WRITTEN.
