You switch from third person “Kris was driving his car” to second person “after searching you(r) car you come back”, This makes it very confusing for the reader. As a suggestion. XXX how to put it into your language.. Finally SPELL CHECK. Finally SPELL CHECK. The first reader prety much says it all. Learn to use paragraphs! Why don’t you ask someone to edit your story for you.. how to put it into your language.. The screen can really bother your eyes. I don’t mean just RUN spell check, I mean re-read your story **Several Times** before posting. If you write another one then let us know beforehand & we can book our coffins with the undertaker and read the story from inside, then with loss of breath they can stick the lid on!READERReport 2007-06-29 11:31:20hmm..
