I’d love to see it cleaned up and fleshed out a little more!anonymous readerReport 2012-04-10 03:11:18Oh yah mate more more more pleaseeeeeeeeeee«1» Is the the girl just really naive, or stupid, or is she trying to seduce her dad?anonymous readerReport 2012-04-10 04:39:18Your story has some good bones. XXX Is Daddy conflicted about doing this or is he a dirty old man? I’d love to see it cleaned up and fleshed out a little more!anonymous readerReport 2012-04-10 03:11:18Oh yah mate more more more pleaseeeeeeeeeee«1» Is Daddy conflicted about doing this or is he a dirty old man? Is Daddy conflicted about doing this or is he a dirty old man? Is Daddy conflicted about doing this or is he a dirty old man? I’d love to see it cleaned up and fleshed out a little more!anonymous readerReport 2012-04-10 03:11:18Oh yah mate more more more pleaseeeeeeeeeee«1» I also fixed it.EfonReport 2012-04-10 10:35:11Needs: Longer, Shorter paragraphs, Better dialog.
